INBOX

[cache_coeur]

INBOX

”Allô, mon amie! Je ne suis pas disponible pour le moment, mais laissez-moi un message et je vous rapellerai dès que possible! À bientôt!”

CODING

Comments

[cache_coeur]

“Agreed,” she says. Pretending to be Maelle’s mother would be the easiest job on the planet. What are teachers, anyway, but parents that can multitask?

She pauses, heaving a great, ugly sigh.

“But I’d rather we didn’t get these assignments at all. This is just cruel.”

[maellum]

Maelle folds a shirt and places it into the suitcase. Playing house isn't Maelle's idea of a good time, but she wonders if Sciel truly enjoyed it. Longs for it, maybe. Why wouldn't she?

"But it was nice for a little bit, no?"

[cache_coeur]

A brief time ago, she might have said yes. Even if the circumstances weren't ideal, it had felt natural to step into them, and pick up a life like that –– one that she could have had, in a kinder world.

"I don't know, Maelle. It stings too badly right now to bright-side it."

[maellum]

Oh.

That's not Sciel. Maelle frowns, watching her, thinking of all the times she's offered her comfort. Knowing she will, undoubtedly, in the future. Sciel is always the first to step up. A touch or a hug or simply silent company.

Maelle gets up to at least try and return the favor. She gets her from the side, both arms going around her waist.

"I'm sorry, Sciel."

Condolences often feel like bullshit but she does hurt for her. It's not fair.

[cache_coeur]

Sciel sees Maelle coming, but it doesn't stop her from jolting very slightly as the arms come around her. Maybe it's just the shock of it all, brought very quickly to earth by a child's arms around her. She takes in a deep breath and arcs an arm over Maelle's head to hold her, too, the other still holding a clothes hanger.

"I'll be alright," she says, quietly. "But thank you."

[maellum]

That won't do. Maelle drops one arm to try and bat that hanger from Sciel's hand while also trying to crowd her towards the bed and get her on it.

That's where the quality hugs can happen, where their height difference isn't so big. And maybe Maelle trying to push around someone much stronger than her will make Sciel smile.

[cache_coeur]

Being buffeted like an unruly sheep getting hounded by a sheepdog does nudge her from her gloomier thoughts, and though she's tempted to dig in her heels –– she'd like to pack, she'd like to leave as soon as possible –– she goes in that direction, as nudged.

"Maelle," she says, a little bewildered, the hanger hitting the floor with a clatter. "What are you doing?"

[maellum]

Packing can wait. Leaving can wait, too. Maelle is determined to give back some of what Sciel has offered her.

"Sit, sit," she says, guiding her until the bed is behind Sciel. "Normally, I'd offer to duel, but I don't want to go outside."

[cache_coeur]

Sciel lets herself be bullied into sitting, a hand down on the duvet to not get tipped right over.

"I––alright, alright."

[maellum]

Time to see if that will keep her propped up as Maelle puts her knees on the bed and shifts her hold from around Sciel's waist to around her neck, leaning into fully to hug her.

"I'm still here. You're still here."

[cache_coeur]

Maelle throws herself against her heavily, or at least it feels that way when the wind has been knocked out of her sails. Sciel finds herself swallowing her breath hard, and she tightens that one arm around Maelle's back.

"And I'm so glad for that," she murmurs, her forehead bumping against Maelle's shoulder.

[maellum]

"I'm glad, too. And Gustave. We'd be a mess without you," she says, and while that may not be entirely true, Sciel's presence has been a balm for them both. She knows that.

[cache_coeur]

"The very best part of the Expedition was spending time with both of you." No matter how brief, no matter how sad. Her hand slides up Maelle's back, settles on the back of her neck. "Don't you worry about me, Maelle. I'll be here every minute I can."

[maellum]

Maelle hugs her tighter. It doesn't feel as awkward as she worried, hanging off Sciel. She just hopes it makes her feel a little less sad.

"I can stay tonight," she says. Easier, when it's her offering, when she feels it's for someone else. "We can find something to do."

[cache_coeur]

A hug could never be awkward, to Sciel; Verso has certainly tried her. She closes her eyes briefly, thinking about when she first met Maelle, when she was this tiny, fickle little person who could barely be pried from Gustave’s side. So long ago. She’s grown up so much since.

“You’re so sweet, but we should go,” Sciel says. “I don’t want to leave Lune alone, and I don’t want you to meet my fake husband.”

Two things that are true, and a third thing left unsaid: she just really does not want to be in this house another night.

“We’ll have a sleepover another time, hmm?”

[maellum]

Maelle lets go with a nod. A rejection, even as gentle as this, always stings--but it's part of learning to put herself out there, she reasons. It's fine. It's not about her.

"Okay. You still have a lot of suitcase space." Might as well fill it if she can.

[cache_coeur]

Maelle may let go, but Sciel does not; she just lets her grip loosen, hand drifting back down again. She sees that little hurt.

“It can wait,” she says. “I think you’re right, and I should take a minute. Sit with me.”

[maellum]

Sit Maelle does. Her leg is pressed to the side of Sciel's, no space between them.

"It's not the same, but I remember you sitting with me." Remember, because a lot of the time after Gustave's death is a haze. She remembers it in moments. Esquie's hug. Lune's head down by the fire. Sciel sitting with her in silence. It was nice to have someone beside her even if she didn't have anything to say. "It helped."

[cache_coeur]

Sciel nods. There’s so much tragedy in their lives. It feels endless. This feels tiny by comparison, but it presses in all the sore places.

“It was the very least I could do, given all the times Gustave sat with me after I lost Pierre and our baby,” she says, softly.

Maelle is his baby, after all.

[maellum]

So it's her turn to do as Gustave would, sitting with Sciel. She can do that. Gustave will be better at it, she's sure, but she can try.

"Gustave is excellent at sitting. I squirm. I hope that's okay."

She gives her a small smile, teasing.

[cache_coeur]

“That’s more than okay,” Sciel says. She wouldn’t want Maelle to ever be anyone other than Maelle. “And he is! And he doesn’t complain when I cry and get snot all over him. I’ll try not to do the same on you, though.”

[maellum]

"That's gross, but I'll allow it. From you," she adds, leaning against her. "I don't think fake family would be so selfless."

They're real family, aren't they? As real as they can possibly be without being blood. Sciel and Lune are just missing the paperwork.

[cache_coeur]

Sciel hums her agreement, thumb running back and forth across Maelle’s back. Ruminating on what makes a family feels tough in this moment, enough to turn her stomach, but if she is to have one, she’s glad it’s this lot.

“You are very, very selfless,” Sciel assures her. “Still, I’ll try, since you’ve made an exception.”

[maellum]

"You're very selfless, too. I hope you know that."

She settles back in for a hug, sneaking her arms around Sciel's middle again. It feels like the most she can offer, lacking the wisdom and kind words Gustave would surely have.

"You always look out for everyone."

[cache_coeur]

“I should hope so, I put in a lot of practice on that,” she says, which is all the humour she can muster right now. She takes Maelle back into her arms, glad to have someone to hold onto when her heart hurts so badly. “I wasn’t, always.”