I have my theories about what the fog was doing. I don't want to bore you with all the details, but what I can tell you is that it's not a good idea to take anything it showed you as an absolute truth, regardless of the source. What did he say?
(It's just things that she learned so she could achieve the same results — that she was taught, most precisely.)
I know it’s not the truth, it just feels wrong that it happened at all.
[It feels cruel to say what, like it might take on a life of its own in Gustave’s character, even with the note that he never would say something like that to her. It makes her feel uncharacteristically flustered for a moment, but she led the conversation here, so:]
He said that I’m not loyal. To the Expedition, or to Pierre.
(It makes no sense to Sophie. Up to everything that Sciel's told her, loyalty has been a theme. To her feelings for Pierre and her difficulty in moving forward. To Sophie. To Gustave.
I was split off from the Expedition early, in a fight we couldn’t win. I ran. We met back up later, but that’s where that comes from. But to Pierre…
[She draws a breath in. How to put this?]
Gustave never moved on from Sophie. Not for even a heartbeat. He just buried himself in work, and the future of Lumière. And for me, the only man I want to be with is my husband, but I can’t just be alone, either.
[It’s strange, being widowed. There’s no new memories to make. She’d had to let the potential of more of him go. She’d had to accept that she’d absorbed every bit of him she could, and that she would lose parts and forget things, but they will still be with her, like lyrics to a song she hadn’t heard in a decade, ready to burst forth when the music starts to play. What do you do? Never listen to music again?
She looks at Sophie, bottom lip pushed up for an instant.]
I think it’s fine for me to find comfort in someone else. I know Gustave wants me to be happy, too, he really does want the best for me. But I’m sleeping with someone he has reasons to dislike, and it makes conversation between us very complicated. I haven’t made the best choices in that.
(When Sciel clarified that she wanted to talk, Sophie hesitated. She made it clear, or so she hopes, that this is not exactly where she shines, although that's not wholly true. Being genuinely helpful, without hidden plans or agendas, and without the aid of streams of thought, is the issue. She's not trying to sway Sciel one way or another, gather, or use. There's no cheating of knowing exactly what to say and how to say it, and she's lost on how to help. Is talking truly enough?
She assumed, as the conversation unfolded, that she wanted to understand the fog. Sophie knows how tos — same effects, same feelings, a deeper understanding of the inner workings of the mind, and she thought that perhaps this had been the reason why Sciel asked her to talk. It doesn't seem to be it.
She can just listen, but is listening truly enough? She's so behind on this personhood thing, and when she's stunned like this is when she realizes it most.)
... Okay. So, let me put all the facts together, paint a picture of the whole thing. You have a late husband, who was friends with Gustave, who is in love with a woman he had a falling out with because the whole existing-in-your-world is depressing. Gustave died, you are sleeping with someone he doesn't trust, which is making you think about how Gustave sees Sophie — and you're fighting? Or, well, you're fighting about it?
... Do you have reasons to trust the person you're fucking?
[This is raw, but it's a bit of a gamble, too; she can see Sophie struggling a little to keep up even before she recaps it all, but this is human, this is human conversation. There is no dumping it all into someone's mind, fully-formed, not when it means losing out on getting to know a person.]
Right. And more than that, it's making me think about how much our lives have changed, often outside of our control. He's always had big dreams for the future, and he wants the best for others, but it doesn't always work out that way. And I've made that harder, in some ways.
(Oh, shit, at least she got the recap right. She's gonna discreetly pat herself on the shoulder for that. It wasn't horrible.)
And you two aren't able to talk it out, I'm assuming, and he's not... Well, I tried to talk to him, and he told me to wait for another time, so I guess he's not a walk in the park.
(Sciel seems fine with the act of conversation, but then again, Sophie is not Gustave. She's not the object of the issue, is she? Sophie knows that changes things.)
There's a 'but' in there right after, isn't there? Why are the reasons Gustave doesn't trust him not yours as well?
Most of the time, he is. There's so many reasons people adore him, myself especially. But Gustave is very... [She winces, but she smiles, too, a little wryly.] Opinionated. When he's upset he can get a little mean, and he does this little thing where he shrugs and says "okay" to whatever point you've made, like you're being unreasonable or stupid, and then he doubles down on you.
[She needs a sip of wine. She takes one.]
Anyway. Verso holds his cards very, very close to his chest. Gustave doesn't like that, and I think from where he's standing, it's a fair judgement. It's just not where I've stood.
Doesn't sound really that bad. At least he is talking? Double down on him. If 'a little mean' is really all, then, you should be able to give it back? It's better than radio silence.
(If it doesn't get worse. She should be able to handle a little mean, give a little mean back. In most cases, Sophie hardly gets offended — her stance tends to be very clear. 'You offend me, I offend you, then if both are offended, no one is', which is a clearly sane and healthy approach to deal with conflict, by someone who is definitely in control of her regulation. Not a doubt.)
... No way, it's Verso? I met him, kinda, a while back. Pretty cute, nice— not the point. Look. There are things you won't understand, and there are things he won't understand. What's the likelihood he just accepts your decision as your own to make, considering the differences in, you know, how things are dealt?
It's not. It's just harder to hear from someone you love, and I don't want to be mean to him. I've hurt his feelings enough without it.
[Nothing feels worse than adding to conflict. She doesn't even bring anger to the battlefield; bringing it down on her friends feels impossible.]
And yes, it's Verso. [Imagine this in another time, where she could grin in a way that scrunches up her nose, delighting in yes, he's cute, and kind, and funny, and he has such a nice body, and she's liked running her hands all over it. Girl talk. Not here, though. Here it's just a little wistful. Everything is complicated.] I think we could agree to disagree, but... I don't know. Have you ever had to do that, with a friend?
Like you're not hurting? Either you get it out, or you fake it till you make it until it's solved, I don't really see any other way.
(Sometimes, this works. Put it all in the open, let it burn and bleed — or alternatively, let it go. Mask it so you deal with another day. She has no horse in this race, 'opinionated', 'mean', and 'bad choices' make a Stepford, so she can't really say anything more peaceful. Blood or leave.
The smile Sciel doesn't show, Sophie does, her hand bringing the wine to her mouth for a sip before Sciel tossed that question at her.
She can't laugh with a mouthful of wine, so instead, it's a small snort that leaves her, dainty fingers hiding her face from the embarrassment of the sound.)
Girl, first of all, what friends? Second of all, not about anything that big, anyway. My sisters and I disagreed constantly, but I don't think my usual way of life really applies here.
I’ll be fine. And we’ll be fine, too, in time, it just… needs to run its course.
[This is venting, but it’s also just sharing. She’d promised Sophie an explanation for what was going on, and this is the foundation of it, the set-up of her friendship with Gustave before it gets into the ugly things that would drive him to send his child away for the evening.
She gives Sophie a bit of an apologetic look. Sorry, love.]
Maybe not, but there’s something about needing to hide a part of your life from someone that doesn’t sit right. I don’t think either wants to be hidden, or tiptoed around.
[Sciel looks into her wine glass for a beat, exasperated at the mere thought of Verso and Gustave in the same room again, but her tone stays on the lighter side.]
A few times. I don’t know what about, exactly, but it got them to a stalemate at best, and then Verso disappeared.
(It means there's wiggle room. She sees a little hope in there, if it didn't end up in a full disaster.
There are also things she knows. Maelle told her Gustave's fear of replacement, but Sophie isn't about to give out that information, but she sees some other reasons why there might be feelings towards Verso that aren't all related to his actions or choices.)
... Yeah. That... Does happen, doesn't it? Kind of makes you a little hesitant on moving forward. We can just get taken away.
Mm. I know Verso was… [She pauses. It’s difficult to say for sure what he was thinking, even having spent more time with him here than any of them.] He thought maybe he should back off for a bit. He didn’t want a fight any more than Gustave does.
[She shakes her head, wine halfway to her mouth.]
I don’t know what will happen next time they cross paths.
I... Well, from what you're describing? I think a fight is inevitable, regardless of whether they want to fight or not. I don't think fighting is such a bad thing? At least it brings you somewhere, even if it's ugly.
(Mind Sciel, she doesn't really know what to say. She's not looking, so she doesn't have a cheatsheet to what she should or shouldn't add, what is the correct answer, or what would be perceived as such. Instead, she's getting Sophie at her most honest, most herself.
Flaws and not sure what Sciel expects from her included in the package.)
That said. I don't think Verso is wrong in wanting to give a break in the peace negotiations. With everything that is going on, it'd be easy to escalate that situation to a thousand, right?
But what about you? Are you going to talk to him, or are you just going to wait until they solve it amongst themselves?
[Peace negotiations. She’s not so sure that’s what it is, not in its entirety. Verso has his own baggage, but that feels like venturing into more territory that isn’t hers to share. She ruminates on that for a moment, unbothered by Sophie’s honesty just the same.]
Anything could escalate it. Verso’s complicated. They both are. [Everyone is. They’re people.] For me, I don’t know. Gustave and I are going to keep talking about it and sorting out how we feel about it, but I still don’t want to side with anyone. That makes it complicated, doesn’t it? I can’t blame Gustave for not wanting to hear some defence of what Verso’s done, but Verso is a member of our team. I won’t make him a scapegoat for everything that went wrong.
(Even if she's unsure what role Verso played. Did he kill Gustave or something? She knows there's something to do with Maelle. She could very well categorize the Expeditioners as 'messy', but then again, if she opened her mouth to talk about the issues in her household, well. They're not at all much better, or better at all.)
Do you, you know, like him? Verso. Do you think this whole thing is worth it? That's another thing to consider, too.
It’s not serious between us. [Or it isn’t for her, at least. He’d asked one very particular question, and she trusts he respects her answer.] But even if I never slept with him again, he’d still be my friend.
Yeah. Well, from what I'm hearing? I don't think they'll ever be friends, but hopefully, they'll reach some kinda place of, well, maybe not understanding, but just moving on. Sucks, though? Sounds like it's stressful for everyone.
It does... suck. [What a funny word.] And it feels like such a small, petty thing considering the enormity of everything we were trying to accomplish on the Expedition. Our world's come to an end, but I have visions of my best friend telling me I'm not a loyal widow? But it's all tied in together. This wouldn't be happening if we didn't care about each other deeply.
About that part, I wouldn't be so certain. My world went to shit so many times, and we're still standing. Who knows. And you're here, too, so maybe that solves at least something. I don't fucking know.
(It's just a thought. Why would Aurora bring them here to fight for an already ended world? If she's cherry picking, why choose that one, from a tactical, resource-saving standpoint?)
Well, that, you obviously do. I'm around you guys all the time, and I don't even need to look to know that.
Well, maybe I should rephrase myself –– the earth is fine, but the people are all gone, Sophie. Me included. I can't even be sure this is real. Maybe Echo brought us back different. Changed.
[How would she possibly know? Even a feeling has to be informed by something. It's not that it even particularly bothers her, either, she's still waiting for the death she looked forward to, but...]
We're on a new mission now, one for Etraya, and we're not focused on it because we still have so much to process from the last one. All of us do.
I know. Maelle told me about the mass Gommage. What I'm trying to say is... Well, obviously, not remotely the same, but we've suffered countless genocides. Sometimes, something happens, we're brought back. Hell, I was brought back four times minimum, Sciel. I just... I don't know. With how insane your world is, I just feel like something could happen.
(She doesn't know. She just thinks if something can wipe out all of them, it might as well bring them back? She wouldn't just throw away that theory so fast. But, well, this is what she knows from what she experienced.
Girl attempting to provide comfort has no idea what she is talking about.)
Changed how? If it comforts you, I don't feel anything weird...
(She's gesturing to Sciel's head like a weirdo, to explain her brain feels fine.)
And how do you even plan to do that? Processing, I mean. It seems like you all are processing together?
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(It's just things that she learned so she could achieve the same results — that she was taught, most precisely.)
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[It feels cruel to say what, like it might take on a life of its own in Gustave’s character, even with the note that he never would say something like that to her. It makes her feel uncharacteristically flustered for a moment, but she led the conversation here, so:]
He said that I’m not loyal. To the Expedition, or to Pierre.
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(It makes no sense to Sophie. Up to everything that Sciel's told her, loyalty has been a theme. To her feelings for Pierre and her difficulty in moving forward. To Sophie. To Gustave.
Choices.)
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[She draws a breath in. How to put this?]
Gustave never moved on from Sophie. Not for even a heartbeat. He just buried himself in work, and the future of Lumière. And for me, the only man I want to be with is my husband, but I can’t just be alone, either.
[It’s strange, being widowed. There’s no new memories to make. She’d had to let the potential of more of him go. She’d had to accept that she’d absorbed every bit of him she could, and that she would lose parts and forget things, but they will still be with her, like lyrics to a song she hadn’t heard in a decade, ready to burst forth when the music starts to play. What do you do? Never listen to music again?
She looks at Sophie, bottom lip pushed up for an instant.]
I think it’s fine for me to find comfort in someone else. I know Gustave wants me to be happy, too, he really does want the best for me. But I’m sleeping with someone he has reasons to dislike, and it makes conversation between us very complicated. I haven’t made the best choices in that.
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She assumed, as the conversation unfolded, that she wanted to understand the fog. Sophie knows how tos — same effects, same feelings, a deeper understanding of the inner workings of the mind, and she thought that perhaps this had been the reason why Sciel asked her to talk. It doesn't seem to be it.
She can just listen, but is listening truly enough? She's so behind on this personhood thing, and when she's stunned like this is when she realizes it most.)
... Okay. So, let me put all the facts together, paint a picture of the whole thing. You have a late husband, who was friends with Gustave, who is in love with a woman he had a falling out with because the whole existing-in-your-world is depressing. Gustave died, you are sleeping with someone he doesn't trust, which is making you think about how Gustave sees Sophie — and you're fighting? Or, well, you're fighting about it?
... Do you have reasons to trust the person you're fucking?
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Right. And more than that, it's making me think about how much our lives have changed, often outside of our control. He's always had big dreams for the future, and he wants the best for others, but it doesn't always work out that way. And I've made that harder, in some ways.
[As for Verso...]
But yes, I do trust him. He has a good heart.
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And you two aren't able to talk it out, I'm assuming, and he's not... Well, I tried to talk to him, and he told me to wait for another time, so I guess he's not a walk in the park.
(Sciel seems fine with the act of conversation, but then again, Sophie is not Gustave. She's not the object of the issue, is she? Sophie knows that changes things.)
There's a 'but' in there right after, isn't there? Why are the reasons Gustave doesn't trust him not yours as well?
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[She needs a sip of wine. She takes one.]
Anyway. Verso holds his cards very, very close to his chest. Gustave doesn't like that, and I think from where he's standing, it's a fair judgement. It's just not where I've stood.
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(If it doesn't get worse. She should be able to handle a little mean, give a little mean back. In most cases, Sophie hardly gets offended — her stance tends to be very clear. 'You offend me, I offend you, then if both are offended, no one is', which is a clearly sane and healthy approach to deal with conflict, by someone who is definitely in control of her regulation. Not a doubt.)
... No way, it's Verso? I met him, kinda, a while back. Pretty cute, nice— not the point. Look. There are things you won't understand, and there are things he won't understand. What's the likelihood he just accepts your decision as your own to make, considering the differences in, you know, how things are dealt?
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[Nothing feels worse than adding to conflict. She doesn't even bring anger to the battlefield; bringing it down on her friends feels impossible.]
And yes, it's Verso. [Imagine this in another time, where she could grin in a way that scrunches up her nose, delighting in yes, he's cute, and kind, and funny, and he has such a nice body, and she's liked running her hands all over it. Girl talk. Not here, though. Here it's just a little wistful. Everything is complicated.] I think we could agree to disagree, but... I don't know. Have you ever had to do that, with a friend?
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(Sometimes, this works. Put it all in the open, let it burn and bleed — or alternatively, let it go. Mask it so you deal with another day. She has no horse in this race, 'opinionated', 'mean', and 'bad choices' make a Stepford, so she can't really say anything more peaceful. Blood or leave.
The smile Sciel doesn't show, Sophie does, her hand bringing the wine to her mouth for a sip before Sciel tossed that question at her.
She can't laugh with a mouthful of wine, so instead, it's a small snort that leaves her, dainty fingers hiding her face from the embarrassment of the sound.)
Girl, first of all, what friends? Second of all, not about anything that big, anyway. My sisters and I disagreed constantly, but I don't think my usual way of life really applies here.
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I’ll be fine. And we’ll be fine, too, in time, it just… needs to run its course.
[This is venting, but it’s also just sharing. She’d promised Sophie an explanation for what was going on, and this is the foundation of it, the set-up of her friendship with Gustave before it gets into the ugly things that would drive him to send his child away for the evening.
She gives Sophie a bit of an apologetic look. Sorry, love.]
Maybe not, but there’s something about needing to hide a part of your life from someone that doesn’t sit right. I don’t think either wants to be hidden, or tiptoed around.
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(She doesn't doubt it, but hopefully the course it runs is a helpful one. Whether they decide not to touch it, whether they talk, hopefully something.
But she appreciates the trust, if anything. Isn't sure if she deserves it, if she's the right vessel for it, but she sees it. Takes it.
Thanks her for it.)
Have they tried talking to each other?
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A few times. I don’t know what about, exactly, but it got them to a stalemate at best, and then Verso disappeared.
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(It means there's wiggle room. She sees a little hope in there, if it didn't end up in a full disaster.
There are also things she knows. Maelle told her Gustave's fear of replacement, but Sophie isn't about to give out that information, but she sees some other reasons why there might be feelings towards Verso that aren't all related to his actions or choices.)
... Yeah. That... Does happen, doesn't it? Kind of makes you a little hesitant on moving forward. We can just get taken away.
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[She shakes her head, wine halfway to her mouth.]
I don’t know what will happen next time they cross paths.
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(Mind Sciel, she doesn't really know what to say. She's not looking, so she doesn't have a cheatsheet to what she should or shouldn't add, what is the correct answer, or what would be perceived as such. Instead, she's getting Sophie at her most honest, most herself.
Flaws and not sure what Sciel expects from her included in the package.)
That said. I don't think Verso is wrong in wanting to give a break in the peace negotiations. With everything that is going on, it'd be easy to escalate that situation to a thousand, right?
But what about you? Are you going to talk to him, or are you just going to wait until they solve it amongst themselves?
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Anything could escalate it. Verso’s complicated. They both are. [Everyone is. They’re people.] For me, I don’t know. Gustave and I are going to keep talking about it and sorting out how we feel about it, but I still don’t want to side with anyone. That makes it complicated, doesn’t it? I can’t blame Gustave for not wanting to hear some defence of what Verso’s done, but Verso is a member of our team. I won’t make him a scapegoat for everything that went wrong.
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(Even if she's unsure what role Verso played. Did he kill Gustave or something? She knows there's something to do with Maelle. She could very well categorize the Expeditioners as 'messy', but then again, if she opened her mouth to talk about the issues in her household, well. They're not at all much better, or better at all.)
Do you, you know, like him? Verso. Do you think this whole thing is worth it? That's another thing to consider, too.
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Yeah. Well, from what I'm hearing? I don't think they'll ever be friends, but hopefully, they'll reach some kinda place of, well, maybe not understanding, but just moving on. Sucks, though? Sounds like it's stressful for everyone.
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It does... suck. [What a funny word.] And it feels like such a small, petty thing considering the enormity of everything we were trying to accomplish on the Expedition. Our world's come to an end, but I have visions of my best friend telling me I'm not a loyal widow? But it's all tied in together. This wouldn't be happening if we didn't care about each other deeply.
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About that part, I wouldn't be so certain. My world went to shit so many times, and we're still standing. Who knows. And you're here, too, so maybe that solves at least something. I don't fucking know.
(It's just a thought. Why would Aurora bring them here to fight for an already ended world? If she's cherry picking, why choose that one, from a tactical, resource-saving standpoint?)
Well, that, you obviously do. I'm around you guys all the time, and I don't even need to look to know that.
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[How would she possibly know? Even a feeling has to be informed by something. It's not that it even particularly bothers her, either, she's still waiting for the death she looked forward to, but...]
We're on a new mission now, one for Etraya, and we're not focused on it because we still have so much to process from the last one. All of us do.
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(She doesn't know. She just thinks if something can wipe out all of them, it might as well bring them back? She wouldn't just throw away that theory so fast. But, well, this is what she knows from what she experienced.
Girl attempting to provide comfort has no idea what she is talking about.)
Changed how? If it comforts you, I don't feel anything weird...
(She's gesturing to Sciel's head like a weirdo, to explain her brain feels fine.)
And how do you even plan to do that? Processing, I mean. It seems like you all are processing together?
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